I've had a blog on my heart for a couple of weeks. But it's one I approach very humbly, because I know I just don't have the adequate words. So I haven't written it.
You see, Christ has been working on my heart lately. In every area of my life, He's been teaching me the same lesson-- "I am enough." And it seems like a simple thing. You know, it's one of those things that most Christians say-- "Christ is enough. He's all I need." But lately, I've been realizing there's a big difference in knowing that in your head and believing it in the very depths of your core.
And let me tell you, believing it in the very depths of your core is incredibly freeing. It allows the blessings of God to be just that. Just His blessings. I don't have to look to my job for my worth, value, or identity. My job doesn't give me my purpose in life. I don't have to look to my relationships for my worth, value, or identity. They don't give me my purpose in life either. They are not the source of my joy. I don't have to look to other people's approval for my worth, value, or identity.
The only thing that matters is Christ. And here's the thing: I don't even have to do anything to earn my worth, value, and identity in Him. He freely clothes me in His righteousness and covers me in His grace and I haven't done a thing to earn it. His love for me comes out of Himself. It's not based on me. I can't do anything to make Him love me more or less.
He doesn't think less of me because I came home early from Zambia.
He doesn't think less of you because of your latest failure.
Because His affections for you, your righteousness before the throne of God, are not based on you at all. They're based on Christ.
And so in the throne room of heaven, before a holy and just God, Christ is enough for you.
Already, I feel the words are failing me. Because I so desire for you to truly understand this too. To truly have the full assurance that Christ is enough. Yes, in the throne room. But also on the earth. He's enough.
Recently in my lifegroup, we wrote down the 10 most important things (people, accomplishments, pursuits) in our lives on index cards. And one by one we took them away, symbolic of losing them in our lives. It seems like a silly little exercise. But let me tell you, when you're left with none of your earthly joys, pleasures, and pursuits in your hand, it's pretty humbling. Who would you be without these things? If I didn't have that relationship... if I didn't have this job... if I hadn't accomplished that...
If all else is stripped away, is He enough?
I know that answer to be yes. A resounding, fully confident yes. He is.
Would there be grief in losing all those things? Absolutely. Tremendous, overwhelming, suffocating grief. But God created us to be emotional beings. He created us with the capacity to feel grief. And so knowing this, knowing He is enough, doesn't mean we don't experience grief. That is not what I'm saying at all.
What I am saying is that we can walk through those seasons of grief with an overwhelming assurance that Christ is enough. He is sovereign. He makes a better God than you would. He sees from beginning to end at the same time. You don't even know what the next hour of your life holds, no matter how much you'd like to think you do.
In my darkest hour in Zambia, so dark I would never even attempt to put words to it, Christ was enough. When I literally couldn't breathe under the overwhelming weight of the darkness, He was still there. He carried me through. And I have a deeper sense of belief that everything else in my life can fade away and He will be enough. And so I wouldn't trade that season, that hour. I honestly wouldn't. I don't know why I had to go through it, but what I got out of it was so beautiful and freeing on the other side.
Christ is enough. I don't say it lightly or flippantly. It's not just a part of my "Christianese," a phrase I know I should say. He really and truly is. In the throne room of heaven and here on earth, He is enough for you.
