The days are full

Whew, what a whirlwind the past week has been since arriving in Richmond. It's probably been the busiest week of my life, comparable only to those last weeks of student teaching trying to submit a unit plan. long range plans, and an action research project all at the same time. The days are full, of that there is no doubt. Full of workshops and assignments. Full of meetings. But full of SO much goodness.

Full of constant stories of God's faithfulness. Full of hearing how my brothers and sisters on the field are seeing the gospel take root in people's lives in people groups who have never been able to even hear the gospel before. Full of God's presence. Full of wisdom from people who have lived on the field. Full of new friendships I know will last the rest of my life. Full of accountability. Full of prayer. Full of the Spirit. Full of laughter. Full of opportunities to grow and be stretched.

My days are SO full. In so many ways. Oh, I forgot a very important one, they're very full of coffee too. Praise the Lord for free coffee 24/7!

Here's how you can be praying in the upcoming days:

• Pray for endurance to run the race set before me here during my training. There is a lot to get done and I know I just need to take it day by day, moment by moment, so I do not burn out.
• Pray for a heart that is bowed before the Father, soaking up everything He has to teach me over the next 8 weeks.
• Pray for me to form sweet and lasting friendships here that God will use to encourage and challenge me not only here, but on the field as well.
• Pray with me for God to provide partners to some sweet, new friends of mine that are heading to the field at the same time as me. There is a group coming in for an Expo this weekend. Pray that God would burden some hearts to join alongside my friends in the work He is doing in their people groups.
• Pray with me for the Langstons and the work God is doing through them as they begin their ministry in Siavonga. God has opened the door at the local high school and they saw 57 students in their meeting last week. Pray for the gospel to take root in those students lives and for God to bless all that the Langstons touch and for the gospel to go forth among the Tonga people in Zambia.

I'm so thankful for the network of prayer that God has blessed me with. It's amazing and extremely humbling to know that so many are going to the throne of God on my behalf. I cannot thank you enough for being partners in the work that God is doing in and through me during this season of preparation and then later in Zambia.

But God

I read from Ephesians 2 this morning. I don't know if I've ever been able to read those first 10 verses without crying. I honestly hope I never can read them without tears welling up in my eyes. I've read them, heard them preached on, and studied them countless times. And they wreck me every time.


"And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience—among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. 

But God, 

being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them" (Ephesians 2:1-10, ESV).

Friends, when I read these verses, it just shows me that God is THAT rich in love and I am THAT undeserving of it. They perfectly describe where I was: absolutely dead in my sin with no hope of saving myself, a child under the wrath of a holy God. But God, oh, but God, being rich in mercy because of His great love with which He loved me (and you)... When I was dead, God made me alive together with Christ. And not only that, but God raised me up and seated me in the heavenly places with Christ Jesus, all to show the IMMEASURABLE riches of His grace in kindness toward me (and you) in Jesus. In the pit of complete hopelessness, wrath, and death, God's grace compelled by His love pulled me out and made me alive. And now He calls me His workmanship-- created in Jesus for good works, which He prepared beforehand, while I was still dead in my sin, that I should walk in. What else could I do with my life now but walk in the good works God has prepared for me? What other response could I have to His grace and love but to live my life walking in the works He has prepared for me, declaring His glory and love to those around me so that He may raise them from death to life? How selfish would I have to be to keep this just to myself when He has saved me from death and wrath and made me alive and seated me with Christ?

We need to be wrecked by the gospel daily. For those of us who have grown up in church, we can have a tendency to somehow become... I don't know the right word... immune? to the gospel truth. But we can't ever get over what God did for us when He stepped in and saved us. Meditate on it. Really chew on it. You were dead. You were a child under the wrath of a holy God. BUT GOD, (those have to be the two most beautiful words in scripture) out of His great love for you, extended you mercy and made you alive with Christ and seated you with Him in the heavenly places. And He calls you His workmanship, and gives you the opportunity to walk in the good works He prepared for you to do, even when you were still dead in your sin. What other choice do you have but to walk in them?

Oh God, Your gospel is beautiful. May we all be compelled to share it.

Cherishing Moments

Moments. They come and go so quickly. Sometimes I think we can miss the wonder of a moment because we're so busy moving on to the next one. I know I'm really guilty of that at times. And I think it's when we realize the moments are running out that we're really careful to cherish each one. In my last week at my school, I wanted to make sure I cherished the moments with my family of children, teachers, and staff. And cherished I did. I don't think I'll ever forget last week there. Some special moments I got to have last week:

a hug with what felt like almost every student (including some pretty "cool" 5th graders)

getting to watch each class come and go as I labeled text sets in the gathering hall

hearing the ring of "Good morning, Dr. M" from 264 students on Monday morning

singing songs with Mr. O's class

sharing a read-aloud with my precious kindergarteners (who are actually precious 2nd graders now)

lending a shoulder to cry on for a student feeling left out

sitting in the rocking chairs after school helping a 5th grader with homework

having my hair twisted into knots that take forever to get out braided by the next generation of hair stylists

being greeted by the sweetest, most precious, 4th grader as I walk into the gathering hall and turn on the lights each morning

watching an epic game of 2nd grade dodge ball

sitting by the window reading with a 3rd grader I've seen grow so much

listening to and learning from a 1st grader as they share their non-fiction book about fish with me

watching a kindergartener's excitement when a frog eats a cricket

running back into the building for something Dr. M forgot one last time :)

watching a 1st and 5th grader showdown in the most epic battle of "Mrs. Nicole says" I've ever seen

sending Susanne's class into a wailing, moaning, gnashing of teeth cry as Susanne read them my letter (which led me into a fit of laughter and tears all at the same time)

seeing the love of children as Susanne's kids jumped up to care for each other, passing out tissues, rubbing each other's backs, and whispering, "It'll be okay," into each other's ears

hearing one more song at Friday Gathering from Chris' class

having a very large group of kindergarteners and 1st graders sing "You are My Sunshine" to me at the end of a long day

hitting the gong to end the week (and symbolically, this chapter of my life) at this school

To say the week wasn't emotionally draining would be a lie. To say I have never felt more loved by such a large group of people would also be a lie. I don't think I have ever received so many hugs in one week. And as hard as it was to go into last Friday and say goodbye, God was faithful to remind me of His plans for me and He walked with me closely through that day, providing hugs and notes at exactly the right times. 

And He also reminded me of the joy and love of new relationships He has in store for my future. Relationships with people I don't even know yet. New faces. New people. New moments. And I can't wait. I am so excited to meet the people in Siavonga and build relationships with them. I'm excited for a whole different set of moments to cherish with a whole different set of people in a whole different place. 

Side note for my Columbia people: I'll be sharing my testimony and some ways you can pray for me at Awaken Church on Sunday. I'd love for you to join us. Service begins at 10:30 at Polo Rd Elementary. 

Abide.

I've spent a lot of time over the past couple of months looking back on the journey that brought me here, just a few months away from moving to Zambia. And wow, it's been a crazy one. But there's been one constant throughout: God's faithfulness. 

If I can encourage you in any way today, I would remind you that God is faithful. And you can abide in that. The past year of my life didn't go anything like I thought it would go. Not one detail went the way I saw it in my head. Proverbs 16:9 has never been truer in my life: "The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." This time a year ago, I thought my world was falling apart. I was mad, hurt, and frustrated with God and His plan. I felt like God was tearing everything out from under me, moving my two greatest and closest mentors away from me within a month of each other. I felt abandoned. I remember crying on the phone with my dad and telling him that God was ripping every constant out from my life and it wasn't fair. And that's exactly how I felt. And I told God often.

But let me tell you, God was faithful. And I so didn't deserve. I did nothing but complain to God about the situation He had placed me in. I started going around making my own plans without consulting God and settling for a mediocre future. I would have given up on me; I have no doubt about that. But God loved me immensely through my hurt and confusion. He held me tightly in His hands and His provision in my life has been the sweetest blessing. 

God brought me to my knees before Him, and I finally admitted I had no clue what I was doing and all my plans were failing. And God began to whisper into my heart.  God stood there with arms open wide when I came crawling back to Him with the broken pieces of my heart and soul. He began reminding me of the heart He created in me, of the passions He had given me, and of the unique ways He had burdened me heart. He reminded me that He had not, nor would He ever, leave me to figure things out on my own. I just needed to trust Him again. He reminded me of Romans 8:28: "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose," and Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."

God began to lay out the steps for the path He intended for me. He gave me faith to trust Him as He drew me closer and closer to Himself. He restored joy to my soul. And as Journeyman became the clear path, He began to show me how He would use that hard season of my life. He began to reveal to me how much I had learned through the season, how much I had grown, how much deeper my trust in Him was, and how much more intimate my relationship with Him was than before I went through the trial.

So my encouragement to you and my prayer for you is to abide. Abide no matter what life looks like from your perspective. Abide in Christ's heart for you. In His love for you. Abide in His perfect will. Abide in His sovereignty. Abide in His faithfulness. Abide in His victory. Abide in His peace. Be overwhelmed by Him. Every moment of every day. Constantly abide. Keep trusting. Keep abiding. God is so faithful. He has absolutely no weakness. God is only good. There is no evil, no deceit, no wrong in Him. He is only good. There is no part of Him that is flawed, no area or room for improvement. And you can rest in that. You can abide in that. 

My heart is overwhelmed

If I could choose one word to describe this season of my life, it would be overwhelmed. In so many good ways. Mostly overwhelmed by God's faithfulness, provision, and sovereignty. But also completely overwhelmed by all the love and support that is being poured out on me by friends, family, and even strangers as I share how God is working in my life. My heart is constantly full and overflowing.

I wanted to take some time to explain more details about what I'll be doing and my timeline over the next several months. Right now, I am working at a school in Columbia. God was super faithful to provide me with a full-time job there. They have been so gracious to hire me, knowing that I can only work through September and then they'll have to find someone else. All the teachers and staff at my school are incredible blessings to my life and God uses them daily to encourage me. And of course, being able to spend some extra weeks with children who have grown so dear to my heart (since this is also where I did my student teaching and worked part-time after graduating last December) brings me a lot of joy too. So I'll be in Columbia through the first week of October before heading to Williamston to spend a week with my family and stand by my best friend, Katie, as she gets married on October 13.

Two days after Katie's wedding, October 15, I'll be driving to Richmond, VA. I'll be living there for 8 weeks at the International Mission Board's International Learning Center for my training. I am so excited to be reunited with some sweet and awesome people I met in July when I went to the Expo Conference.

My last day in Richmond is December 14. Then I'll be leaving for Zambia probably a day or two after Christmas. During that two weeks between returning from Richmond and leaving for Zambia, I'll be visiting family and friends and cherishing spending some sweet time with the people I love.

And then I'll be in Zambia for the next two years of my life. I am so excited. And of course, overwhelmed. As I learn more about the people of Zambia, I am already falling in love with them. During my two years in Zambia, I'll be living in Siavonga and working with the Langston family to reach the Tonga people. The Langstons are IMB missionaries. They have already been in Zambia for 3 years and just returned to the field in August. They are absolutely wonderful. James and Marci Langston have 3 children: Taylor, Emily, and Micah. I've had the opportunity to talk to Marci once on the phone and I can't wait to join them in how God is using them to reach the people in Zambia. Part of what I'll be doing during my time in Zambia is helping Marci homeshool the children. I'll also have the opportunity to work in ministry with the Zambian people. There are lots of different opportunities in Siavonga, so I am excited to see what work God is preparing me to do there.


Siavonga on the map of Zambia

Children at the orphangage in Siavonga

School sign in Siavonga



Answering the Call

I have been waiting for this day, for well, a little less than a month but it has felt like forever. Like an eternity. Knowing there's a call coming but not knowing exactly when is pretty torturous. Knowing today is definitely the day it will come is overwhelming. I couldn't get to sleep last night. Not so much from nervousness, but just from expectation. From a heart overflowing with praise. From prayers that my heart would always say "wherever, whatever, however, with whoever, for Your glory." Praying for the people of a country that stole my heart a month ago. Praying for the orphans whose faces I've looked at countless times online. Praying for the family I was hoping to be working with. Reflecting back on the path that brought me here. Praising God for His faithfulness in the times when I so didn't deserve it. Praising Him for shutting every other door and opening only one. And trusting Him to continue to be faithful when I answered the much anticipated and long-awaited for phone call from the IMB in the morning. Knowing that in answering the call from the IMB, I would really be answering the call from the Lord. And being completely humbled by that. That God would choose to use me in His pursuit of the nations is incredibly humbling.

And so I woke up this morning with a heart still overflowing with prayers and praise. And I told Jesus a phone call should come before lunch. I kept my phone within a arm's reach glued to me all morning long. And lunch came. No phone call. I pulled out my MP3 player and reorganized playlists, added new songs, downloaded new music. 1:00 came. 2:00 came. 3:00 came. I was beginning to think maybe tomorrow. And then at 3:39, the familiar chorus of Matt Redman's "Never Once" began to play from my phone. I thought about taking a moment to let those lyrics sink in, but quickly answered instead. And in a 2 minute and 46 second phone call, I got the news I have been waiting forever a month to hear.

Ladies and gentlemen, this girl is moving to Zambia!

I gave my verbal acceptance on the phone and in a few days I'll submit my written acceptance to the IMB. I'll write another post later with more information about what it is I'll be doing.

But for now, suffice it to say that my heart is overflowing with joy and completely humbled to go and join in the work that the Lord is doing in Zambia.

Shatter the Silence

July 18-21 I traveled to Richmond, VA for the Journeyman Expo Conference. At the Expo, we were presented with a list (an 80-page list) of all the different opportunities to go and serve overseas for our two-year term as Journeymen. I had no clue how I was going to filter through the list and turn in 3 choices after just a few short days. 

But God knew. He had a plan. And He began to show me. He immediately burdened my heart for shattering the silence in Sub-Saharan Africa. You see among the 2,000 people groups in Sub-Saharan Africa, more 600 of them have never once heard the gospel of Jesus. Not once. And so there is silence. 

And I don't know about you, but I'm just not okay with that. And I don't think God is either.

Romans 15:20-21 says,

"and thus I make it my ambition to preach the gospel, not where Christ has already been named, lest I build on someone else's foundation, but as it is written,

'Those who have never been told of him will see, 

and those who have never heard will understand.'”

And God broke my heart for the silence among the people of Sub-Saharan Africa. And He called me to go and shatter it. 

I am only one person. And the silence is great. It's completely overwhelming. It stretches over countries, people groups, and languages. And I know I cannot shatter the silence for all of them. But I believe God calls me to be faithful to shatter the silence where God places me, in the people He surrounds me with, and that is enough. God is calling me to be faithful to Him in the small--in the one person, in the one village, and then trust Him to be faithful in the rest. Trust Him to raise up and call out missionaries to come join Him in His mission to shatter the silence that has plagued Africa for far too long now. Trust Him to raise up local believers in Sub-Saharan Africa and empower and equip them to share and shatter the silence. 

Because He can. And I believe He will. 

Join me in shattering the silence. 

Pray--get on your knees before the Lord, interceding for the lost peoples of Sub-Saharan Africa (www.imbafrica.org/pray). 

One missionary at the Expo shared with us a story from her time serving overseas. She had moved to a different country than her first country and her closest friend from her first country brought a team over to serve in her new country. While they were there, one of the girls on the team got dysentery. They took her to the local doctor and she had to stay there for several days to be treated, so the team stayed with her. While they stayed in his house, they shared the gospel with the man. And he told them that a few days prior to their arrival, he had a dream that a people from their country would come to him and tell him important news and that he should listen to it. So he listened as they shared the gospel. And he accepted Christ as the Lord of His life. 

So get on your knees and pray. Pray that God will open hearts to the gospel before they even know what the gospel is. Pray that when they hear the gospel they will realize this is what they have been waiting to hear. Pray for a move of God among the people of Africa that shatters the silence.