Goodbyes and Hellos

Well, I’m still here in Richmond. But not for much longer. Our commissioning service is two weeks from today. As excited as I am to see my family and friends in South Carolina and then begin my new life in Zambia, I also know I’m moving into another season of transition and goodbyes. It’s hard to explain the bond I have with the people here at training, but I really do consider them my family now. I’ve grown so used to doing every part of my life with them—eating meals, studying the Bible, grocery shopping, sitting in sessions, watching movies, and everything in between. We’re together all the time. And I love it. (Well, most of the time). And I’m about to return back to doing life without them. Well, at least not with them physically with me all the time. But I do know the bond I have with people here is one that is not broken by being in different places. And I know they’ll be walking by my side in prayer every day.

And then after I say goodbye to this family, I’ll spend two weeks in constant goodbyes. Goodbye to friends. Goodbyes to family. And to say I’m not dreading that would be a lie. I’d appreciate your prayers for me as I prepare my heart for those weeks and walk through them.

Goodbyes are hard. There’s no way around it. But the thing that brings me great joy as I head into this season of goodbyes and transition are the hellos that I know are coming. Hellos to the Langstons, a family that my heart has grown to love and can’t wait to join in Zambia. Hellos to Zambian women who will be my close friends over the next two years. Hellos to Zambian children who I know will flood my heart with joy. Hellos to new experiences that will grow and stretch me in ways I can’t even imagine now. Hello experiencing God in ways that are different than any I’ve known before. Hello to mosquito nets and all kinds of critters. Hello to a new “family” in a new country. The joy of all these coming hellos floods my heart with hope and excitement and far outweighs the sadness of saying goodbyes. Each day I think I could not possibly be more excited about moving to Zambia and begin building relationships with the Tonga people. And each day I’m more excited than the day before.

I’m just 30 days out from taking a step onto a plane in Atlanta and beginning a new adventure with the Lord. And though I know those 30 days will be full of emotional highs and lows, I know He will be faithful through each moment of it. He will sustain me. With each goodbye, He can remind me of a hello that is coming. He’ll provide me with all I need.

Here’s how you can be praying specifically in the coming weeks:

·      Pray for God to continue to prepare my heart for the season of transition I’m heading into. Pray my time with family and friends would be full of joy and not sadness.

·      Pray I would really soak up everything in these last two weeks of training. We’re spending all of next week in our affinity group (mine is Sub-Saharan Africa) so I’ll be learning a lot more about African culture and how to share the gospel there. Pray I would be like a sponge to soak up all the information.

·      Pray for the relationships I’ll be building in Siavonga, Zambia. Pray God provide a national woman who can be my close friend and walk through life with me during these next two years. Pray the Lord would already be preparing hearts for the work He intends to do in Siavonga in the coming months and years.

Break Our Hearts

The very first day of my orientation here in Richmond, our main speaker said something along the lines of "If you feel deeply about the things of Christ, you will feel deeply about the things Christ feels deeply about." Something like that. He was talking about God's heart for ALL people. He talked about how if we loved anything less than all the peoples of the world, if there were people in the world we did not love, then we did not have the heart of our Father. Anyway, it reminded me of the song "Hosanna" and how we cry out in that song "Break my heart for what breaks Yours." What do we mean when we say that? When we ask God to break our hearts for the things that break His, what are we asking of Him?

One of the things I love about the IMB is the vision: Our vision is a multitude from every language, people, tribe, and nation knowing and worshipping our Lord Jesus Christ. It comes straight from the Bible:

After this I looked, and behold, a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands, and crying out with a loud voice, “Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!” And all the angels were standing around the throne and around the elders and the four living creatures, and they fell on their faces before the throne and worshiped God, saying, “Amen! Blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power and might be to our God forever and ever! Amen.” (Revelation 7:9-12 ESV)

From every language: around 6,900 (Ethnologue)

From every people and tribe: 11,341 people groups; 6,422 unreached people groups (IMB)

From every nation: 196

It breaks shatters (that doesn't even seem strong enough) my heart to think there are so many places where the gospel has not yet been taken. Places where whole people groups have never had the opportunity to hear the name of Jesus. Not even once. They're real people, real lives. And you can no longer claim ignorance because you now know how many people have not heard. Did you catch it up there? 6,422 unreached people groups. Unreached means that less than 2% of that people group are believers. And over half of the world's people groups are unreached. Let that sink in for a minute. Think about how much God loves every single one of those people. He loves them all immensely. He loved them so much that He sent His Son to live a perfect life on earth, die a humiliating death, and then raise Him from the dead. He did that for them, just like He did it for me and you. And. they. haven't. heard. Let your heart break for these people like I believe the heart of our Father breaks for them. Commit to pray for them. Pray for God to raise up people to go and tell the gospel truth to them. Maybe you need to take it a step further and go. As God breaks your heart for these groups, maybe He'll call you to go to them. Be open to that.

Yesterday, we watched a video about the Taliabo people, a formerly unreached people group. It moved me to tears. It's a little over 30 minutes long, but I promise every second of it is worth it. I watched most of it through tears. I found it in 4 parts on youtube. You can watch it here. Realize their hunger for the gospel before they even knew what it was. And realize their joy when the truth of the gospel was revealed to them.

Lord, break our hearts for what breaks Yours.

The days are full

Whew, what a whirlwind the past week has been since arriving in Richmond. It's probably been the busiest week of my life, comparable only to those last weeks of student teaching trying to submit a unit plan. long range plans, and an action research project all at the same time. The days are full, of that there is no doubt. Full of workshops and assignments. Full of meetings. But full of SO much goodness.

Full of constant stories of God's faithfulness. Full of hearing how my brothers and sisters on the field are seeing the gospel take root in people's lives in people groups who have never been able to even hear the gospel before. Full of God's presence. Full of wisdom from people who have lived on the field. Full of new friendships I know will last the rest of my life. Full of accountability. Full of prayer. Full of the Spirit. Full of laughter. Full of opportunities to grow and be stretched.

My days are SO full. In so many ways. Oh, I forgot a very important one, they're very full of coffee too. Praise the Lord for free coffee 24/7!

Here's how you can be praying in the upcoming days:

• Pray for endurance to run the race set before me here during my training. There is a lot to get done and I know I just need to take it day by day, moment by moment, so I do not burn out.
• Pray for a heart that is bowed before the Father, soaking up everything He has to teach me over the next 8 weeks.
• Pray for me to form sweet and lasting friendships here that God will use to encourage and challenge me not only here, but on the field as well.
• Pray with me for God to provide partners to some sweet, new friends of mine that are heading to the field at the same time as me. There is a group coming in for an Expo this weekend. Pray that God would burden some hearts to join alongside my friends in the work He is doing in their people groups.
• Pray with me for the Langstons and the work God is doing through them as they begin their ministry in Siavonga. God has opened the door at the local high school and they saw 57 students in their meeting last week. Pray for the gospel to take root in those students lives and for God to bless all that the Langstons touch and for the gospel to go forth among the Tonga people in Zambia.

I'm so thankful for the network of prayer that God has blessed me with. It's amazing and extremely humbling to know that so many are going to the throne of God on my behalf. I cannot thank you enough for being partners in the work that God is doing in and through me during this season of preparation and then later in Zambia.

But God

I read from Ephesians 2 this morning. I don't know if I've ever been able to read those first 10 verses without crying. I honestly hope I never can read them without tears welling up in my eyes. I've read them, heard them preached on, and studied them countless times. And they wreck me every time.


"And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience—among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. 

But God, 

being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them" (Ephesians 2:1-10, ESV).

Friends, when I read these verses, it just shows me that God is THAT rich in love and I am THAT undeserving of it. They perfectly describe where I was: absolutely dead in my sin with no hope of saving myself, a child under the wrath of a holy God. But God, oh, but God, being rich in mercy because of His great love with which He loved me (and you)... When I was dead, God made me alive together with Christ. And not only that, but God raised me up and seated me in the heavenly places with Christ Jesus, all to show the IMMEASURABLE riches of His grace in kindness toward me (and you) in Jesus. In the pit of complete hopelessness, wrath, and death, God's grace compelled by His love pulled me out and made me alive. And now He calls me His workmanship-- created in Jesus for good works, which He prepared beforehand, while I was still dead in my sin, that I should walk in. What else could I do with my life now but walk in the good works God has prepared for me? What other response could I have to His grace and love but to live my life walking in the works He has prepared for me, declaring His glory and love to those around me so that He may raise them from death to life? How selfish would I have to be to keep this just to myself when He has saved me from death and wrath and made me alive and seated me with Christ?

We need to be wrecked by the gospel daily. For those of us who have grown up in church, we can have a tendency to somehow become... I don't know the right word... immune? to the gospel truth. But we can't ever get over what God did for us when He stepped in and saved us. Meditate on it. Really chew on it. You were dead. You were a child under the wrath of a holy God. BUT GOD, (those have to be the two most beautiful words in scripture) out of His great love for you, extended you mercy and made you alive with Christ and seated you with Him in the heavenly places. And He calls you His workmanship, and gives you the opportunity to walk in the good works He prepared for you to do, even when you were still dead in your sin. What other choice do you have but to walk in them?

Oh God, Your gospel is beautiful. May we all be compelled to share it.

Cherishing Moments

Moments. They come and go so quickly. Sometimes I think we can miss the wonder of a moment because we're so busy moving on to the next one. I know I'm really guilty of that at times. And I think it's when we realize the moments are running out that we're really careful to cherish each one. In my last week at my school, I wanted to make sure I cherished the moments with my family of children, teachers, and staff. And cherished I did. I don't think I'll ever forget last week there. Some special moments I got to have last week:

a hug with what felt like almost every student (including some pretty "cool" 5th graders)

getting to watch each class come and go as I labeled text sets in the gathering hall

hearing the ring of "Good morning, Dr. M" from 264 students on Monday morning

singing songs with Mr. O's class

sharing a read-aloud with my precious kindergarteners (who are actually precious 2nd graders now)

lending a shoulder to cry on for a student feeling left out

sitting in the rocking chairs after school helping a 5th grader with homework

having my hair twisted into knots that take forever to get out braided by the next generation of hair stylists

being greeted by the sweetest, most precious, 4th grader as I walk into the gathering hall and turn on the lights each morning

watching an epic game of 2nd grade dodge ball

sitting by the window reading with a 3rd grader I've seen grow so much

listening to and learning from a 1st grader as they share their non-fiction book about fish with me

watching a kindergartener's excitement when a frog eats a cricket

running back into the building for something Dr. M forgot one last time :)

watching a 1st and 5th grader showdown in the most epic battle of "Mrs. Nicole says" I've ever seen

sending Susanne's class into a wailing, moaning, gnashing of teeth cry as Susanne read them my letter (which led me into a fit of laughter and tears all at the same time)

seeing the love of children as Susanne's kids jumped up to care for each other, passing out tissues, rubbing each other's backs, and whispering, "It'll be okay," into each other's ears

hearing one more song at Friday Gathering from Chris' class

having a very large group of kindergarteners and 1st graders sing "You are My Sunshine" to me at the end of a long day

hitting the gong to end the week (and symbolically, this chapter of my life) at this school

To say the week wasn't emotionally draining would be a lie. To say I have never felt more loved by such a large group of people would also be a lie. I don't think I have ever received so many hugs in one week. And as hard as it was to go into last Friday and say goodbye, God was faithful to remind me of His plans for me and He walked with me closely through that day, providing hugs and notes at exactly the right times. 

And He also reminded me of the joy and love of new relationships He has in store for my future. Relationships with people I don't even know yet. New faces. New people. New moments. And I can't wait. I am so excited to meet the people in Siavonga and build relationships with them. I'm excited for a whole different set of moments to cherish with a whole different set of people in a whole different place. 

Side note for my Columbia people: I'll be sharing my testimony and some ways you can pray for me at Awaken Church on Sunday. I'd love for you to join us. Service begins at 10:30 at Polo Rd Elementary. 

Abide.

I've spent a lot of time over the past couple of months looking back on the journey that brought me here, just a few months away from moving to Zambia. And wow, it's been a crazy one. But there's been one constant throughout: God's faithfulness. 

If I can encourage you in any way today, I would remind you that God is faithful. And you can abide in that. The past year of my life didn't go anything like I thought it would go. Not one detail went the way I saw it in my head. Proverbs 16:9 has never been truer in my life: "The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." This time a year ago, I thought my world was falling apart. I was mad, hurt, and frustrated with God and His plan. I felt like God was tearing everything out from under me, moving my two greatest and closest mentors away from me within a month of each other. I felt abandoned. I remember crying on the phone with my dad and telling him that God was ripping every constant out from my life and it wasn't fair. And that's exactly how I felt. And I told God often.

But let me tell you, God was faithful. And I so didn't deserve. I did nothing but complain to God about the situation He had placed me in. I started going around making my own plans without consulting God and settling for a mediocre future. I would have given up on me; I have no doubt about that. But God loved me immensely through my hurt and confusion. He held me tightly in His hands and His provision in my life has been the sweetest blessing. 

God brought me to my knees before Him, and I finally admitted I had no clue what I was doing and all my plans were failing. And God began to whisper into my heart.  God stood there with arms open wide when I came crawling back to Him with the broken pieces of my heart and soul. He began reminding me of the heart He created in me, of the passions He had given me, and of the unique ways He had burdened me heart. He reminded me that He had not, nor would He ever, leave me to figure things out on my own. I just needed to trust Him again. He reminded me of Romans 8:28: "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose," and Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."

God began to lay out the steps for the path He intended for me. He gave me faith to trust Him as He drew me closer and closer to Himself. He restored joy to my soul. And as Journeyman became the clear path, He began to show me how He would use that hard season of my life. He began to reveal to me how much I had learned through the season, how much I had grown, how much deeper my trust in Him was, and how much more intimate my relationship with Him was than before I went through the trial.

So my encouragement to you and my prayer for you is to abide. Abide no matter what life looks like from your perspective. Abide in Christ's heart for you. In His love for you. Abide in His perfect will. Abide in His sovereignty. Abide in His faithfulness. Abide in His victory. Abide in His peace. Be overwhelmed by Him. Every moment of every day. Constantly abide. Keep trusting. Keep abiding. God is so faithful. He has absolutely no weakness. God is only good. There is no evil, no deceit, no wrong in Him. He is only good. There is no part of Him that is flawed, no area or room for improvement. And you can rest in that. You can abide in that. 

My heart is overwhelmed

If I could choose one word to describe this season of my life, it would be overwhelmed. In so many good ways. Mostly overwhelmed by God's faithfulness, provision, and sovereignty. But also completely overwhelmed by all the love and support that is being poured out on me by friends, family, and even strangers as I share how God is working in my life. My heart is constantly full and overflowing.

I wanted to take some time to explain more details about what I'll be doing and my timeline over the next several months. Right now, I am working at a school in Columbia. God was super faithful to provide me with a full-time job there. They have been so gracious to hire me, knowing that I can only work through September and then they'll have to find someone else. All the teachers and staff at my school are incredible blessings to my life and God uses them daily to encourage me. And of course, being able to spend some extra weeks with children who have grown so dear to my heart (since this is also where I did my student teaching and worked part-time after graduating last December) brings me a lot of joy too. So I'll be in Columbia through the first week of October before heading to Williamston to spend a week with my family and stand by my best friend, Katie, as she gets married on October 13.

Two days after Katie's wedding, October 15, I'll be driving to Richmond, VA. I'll be living there for 8 weeks at the International Mission Board's International Learning Center for my training. I am so excited to be reunited with some sweet and awesome people I met in July when I went to the Expo Conference.

My last day in Richmond is December 14. Then I'll be leaving for Zambia probably a day or two after Christmas. During that two weeks between returning from Richmond and leaving for Zambia, I'll be visiting family and friends and cherishing spending some sweet time with the people I love.

And then I'll be in Zambia for the next two years of my life. I am so excited. And of course, overwhelmed. As I learn more about the people of Zambia, I am already falling in love with them. During my two years in Zambia, I'll be living in Siavonga and working with the Langston family to reach the Tonga people. The Langstons are IMB missionaries. They have already been in Zambia for 3 years and just returned to the field in August. They are absolutely wonderful. James and Marci Langston have 3 children: Taylor, Emily, and Micah. I've had the opportunity to talk to Marci once on the phone and I can't wait to join them in how God is using them to reach the people in Zambia. Part of what I'll be doing during my time in Zambia is helping Marci homeshool the children. I'll also have the opportunity to work in ministry with the Zambian people. There are lots of different opportunities in Siavonga, so I am excited to see what work God is preparing me to do there.


Siavonga on the map of Zambia

Children at the orphangage in Siavonga

School sign in Siavonga