In Which I Don't Have the Words... But I Know

I've had a blog on my heart for a couple of weeks. But it's one I approach very humbly, because I know I just don't have the adequate words. So I haven't written it.

You see, Christ has been working on my heart lately. In every area of my life, He's been teaching me the same lesson-- "I am enough." And it seems like a simple thing. You know, it's one of those things that most Christians say-- "Christ is enough. He's all I need." But lately, I've been realizing there's a big difference in knowing that in your head and believing it in the very depths of your core.

And let me tell you, believing it in the very depths of your core is incredibly freeing. It allows the blessings of God to be just that. Just His blessings. I don't have to look to my job for my worth, value, or identity. My job doesn't give me my purpose in life. I don't have to look to my relationships for my worth, value, or identity. They don't give me my purpose in life either. They are not the source of my joy. I don't have to look to other people's approval for my worth, value, or identity.

The only thing that matters is Christ. And here's the thing: I don't even have to do anything to earn my worth, value, and identity in Him. He freely clothes me in His righteousness and covers me in His grace and I haven't done a thing to earn it. His love for me comes out of Himself. It's not based on me. I can't do anything to make Him love me more or less.

He doesn't think less of me because I came home early from Zambia.
He doesn't think less of you because of your latest failure.
Because His affections for you, your righteousness before the throne of God, are not based on you at all. They're based on Christ.

And so in the throne room of heaven, before a holy and just God, Christ is enough for you.

Already, I feel the words are failing me. Because I so desire for you to truly understand this too. To truly have the full assurance that Christ is enough. Yes, in the throne room. But also on the earth. He's enough.

Recently in my lifegroup, we wrote down the 10 most important things (people, accomplishments, pursuits) in our lives on index cards. And one by one we took them away, symbolic of losing them in our lives. It seems like a silly little exercise. But let me tell you, when you're left with none of your earthly joys, pleasures, and pursuits in your hand, it's pretty humbling. Who would you be without these things? If I didn't have that relationship... if I didn't have this job... if I hadn't accomplished that...

If all else is stripped away, is He enough?

I know that answer to be yes. A resounding, fully confident yes. He is.

Would there be grief in losing all those things? Absolutely. Tremendous, overwhelming, suffocating grief. But God created us to be emotional beings. He created us with the capacity to feel grief. And so knowing this, knowing He is enough, doesn't mean we don't experience grief. That is not what I'm saying at all.

What I am saying is that we can walk through those seasons of grief with an overwhelming assurance that Christ is enough. He is sovereign. He makes a better God than you would. He sees from beginning to end at the same time. You don't even know what the next hour of your life holds, no matter how much you'd like to think you do.

In my darkest hour in Zambia, so dark I would never even attempt to put words to it, Christ was enough. When I literally couldn't breathe under the overwhelming weight of the darkness, He was still there. He carried me through. And I have a deeper sense of belief that everything else in my life can fade away and He will be enough. And so I wouldn't trade that season, that hour. I honestly wouldn't. I don't know why I had to go through it, but what I got out of it was so beautiful and freeing on the other side.

Christ is enough. I don't say it lightly or flippantly. It's not just a part of my "Christianese," a phrase I know I should say. He really and truly is. In the throne room of heaven and here on earth, He is enough for you.

Guest Post

I did a guest post for the Awaken Church blog recently: 

“We are spared every second of every day because God has a plan for deliverance of all people and He uses us to proclaim that deliverance. If we are not doing that, if we are not sharing the Word of God and His salvation, then we are no better than Jonah because we are running from the very thing He has called us to do with our lives.”

As I sat on a wooden bench in a church building with concrete walls and floor and a tin roof, open windows and doors allowing the occasional lizard to walk down the aisles and between the benches I thought, “This. This is what the Church should be.” Our morning had already been filled with prayer and songs of praise, worship, and surrender. Not songs set to any instrument, but just our voices, crying out to God and worshipping the King.

To read the rest of this blog, click here.

Acquaint thyself with God

"We Christians are the Church and whatever we do is what the Church is doing... Any forward step in the Church must begin with the individual... Acquaint thyself with God." (A.W. Tozer)

We're really good at calling out the Church for its shortcomings. I include myself in that. I have a lot of hang-ups with certain things about the Church. Some of my favorite blog writers are ones who often post very opinionated pieces on the Church (generally its failures). 

And so when I came across this quote from Tozer, it hit me pretty hard. First it reminded me that the Church is flawed because it is made up of flawed sinners who are only redeemed by the grace of God. Then it reminded to not be so quick to point my finger at the Church.

The Church shouldn't be so judgmental.
The Church shouldn't be so condescending.
The Church should be a better reflection of Christ to the world.
The Church should move outside the four walls of a building and into the streets.
The Church should get back to the gospel. A church service isn't a show.

And on and on the list could go.

It's easy to point out the failures of the Church. And there are many voices doing just that. And I may not do it from this blog, but I'm quick to do it in conversations with my friends. 

But what about me? What about you? What if instead of pointing out the failures of the Church, we focused on ourselves and worried about acquainting ourselves with God in our individual lives? It might seem like it would only make a minute difference in the grand scheme of things, but if we truly became all-consumed with the glory and passion of God in our individual lives, then I can't help but think that would spill out to those around us and they would become motivated to acquaint themselves with God again. And maybe then, slowly, our churches, and the Church, would become more acquainted with God again. 

Transition

These days I am often encountered with some version of the question, "How's the transition going?" It pops up with people I know well and with those that I don't really know all that well but who know my story, or at least what they've read of it on this blog. So here's the answer:

It's going great. Honestly.

I had no idea what to expect coming back the States. Honestly, I thought I was going to be a complete and total mess. But, oh Jesus, He had other plans.

Coming home from Zambia was the hardest decision I ever made. And I'm just two months into this life back in the States, but I can tell you this--the Lord has been incredibly faithful. Faithful to provide for my every need. Faithful to give me constant and continual confirmation that He has me here, in Columbia, at this time for specific reasons and purposes. Faithful to continue to grow me and stretch me spiritually.

My biggest fear in coming home was that I would lose the intimacy I had with Jesus during my time in Zambia. Because here's the thing, when you live in a house with no one else to talk to, you have to talk to someone sometimes, and for me that person was Jesus. It was a wonderfully sweet fellowship that I had with him during those six months. When darkness clouded all around me, I could still cling tightly to Jesus and His Word and know He would see me through it all. I had never in my life experienced communion with our Lord like I did there. And I was just scared coming back that I would lose all that in the busyness of life here. And my life is very busy. But God has been so faithful to continue to grow the sweetness and intimacy of my relationship with Him, continued to grant me wisdom and discernment through His Spirit to know Him more.  

I'm not at all where I thought I would be right now. In fact, this is probably one of the last places I thought I would be today. And though I don't understand it at all, and maybe I never will, I know I'm where God has ordained for me to be today. How that fits in with the fact that I was called to Zambia about a year ago, I don't know and I don't claim to have the answers to that question.

But yes, transition is going great. And I give all the praise to Jesus for that. Because on my own, in my own strength, I know I'd be a hot mess right now. But God is so faithful, y'all. He's faithful to take the broken pieces of our heart and redeem them into something beautiful for His glory and renown. I've never been so completely and utterly humbled by the faithfulness of God as I have been in this season of transition in my life. I am so unworthy of His love and faithfulness. so unworthy. And yet He showers it on me and covers me in His grace. Hallelujah.

--

Side note: I want to again invite all of you to Awaken Church next Sunday (Sept 15) for the launch of our new series, JESUS > RELIGION. 

Jesus > Religion

I cannot wait for Awaken's next sermon series, starting September 15th. Jesus > Religion. In a culture, especially here in the South, where I so often see religion elevated over Jesus, I am thankful for an opportunity to be reminded that Jesus didn't come to condemn the world, like religion so often does, but save it. When Jesus said, "It is finished," it was done. Jesus clothed me in his righteousness. He didn't ask me to try to earn my salvation by following a set of religious rules. Because that can't be done. 

In thinking and praying about the next sermon series, I remembered the youtube video that went viral a year or two ago: Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus. It's a powerful testimony. 

I'd love for you to come join us on September 15th for the launch of this new series. You who have looked at the church and the Bible and said, "That doesn't match up," you're welcome here. You who have seen the hypocrisy of the church and said, "Not for me," you're welcome here. You who hate the church because of its failures, you're welcome here. You who love the church and Jesus, you're welcome here.

September 15th. 10:30am. Polo Road Elementary School. 

Sometimes kids just get it better than adults

"I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood." (Martin Luther King, "I Have a Dream" excerpt)

"Did he ever get to sit down at that table of brotherhood?"

Tears welled up in my eyes as she, a third grader, asked the question. She said it with such innocence and yet the weight of the question was so heavy. What do you say to that?

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. (Martin Luther King, "I Have a Dream" excerpt)

"I think it means that people should be judged based on what they do and not what they look like... what's on their inside, not the outside."

Amen. As this third grader shared his understanding of the MLK quote, I was left speechless, determined to remember it word for word so I could jot it down on a piece of paper as soon as I got back to my desk. I had chills.

While discussing the initiative to eliminate the homeless from the streets in Columbia, the kids seemed to be pretty unified in their view on the subject. "I think they should just help them instead." Yeah, me too, kid.

Because sometimes kids just get it so much better than adults. Their view isn't skewed by having to make this committee or that person happy. They see an injustice and it's as simple as that. There should be a solution. They should help them. People should be judged on their inside, not their outside; what they do, not what they look like.

Yeah, sometimes kids just get it better than adults.

Kids React

Discussions like this are one of the many reasons I love working with kids.